The Video Game Critic's
Wii Reviews S

It seems like a lot of the people designing games today have absolutely no clue what they are doing. Sea Monsters is a case study in bad design: it wants you to hate it. The game is brought to you by National Geographic - the most boring magazine ever! If not for doctor's offices, this magazine would have no reason to exist. Sea Monsters places you in the role of a prehistoric creature seeking and collecting fossils. That's a pretty insane premise if you really think about it. You start off as a Plesiosaur (Brontosaurus with fins), but can switch dinosaurs while exploring some extremely uninteresting scenery. In addition to collecting fossils, you can eat fish and complete "challenges" to unlock more creatures and areas. A handy radar display indicates fossils, enemies, and magic "portals", but this game can't even get the color-coding right! The fossils are represented by purple dots on the radar, yet appear in the water as green clouds! When you swim through the cloud, a brown thing appears on the end of your nose. Would you believe that's supposed to be a fossil? I love how you're prompted to "grab the fossil!" although it's obviously already in your possession. In terms of swimming around, you really don't have much freedom because the environment is constrained and get this: going too deep will kill you. Hello, I'm a freakin' sea dinosaur. I've been evolving over 40 million years and now I can't dive 50 feet without drowning?! Give me a [expletive] break! The controls are awful, thanks to an uncooperative camera that makes navigating each angular passage a disorienting experience. The fossil construction screens are the worst. Although a "drag and drop" interface is provided, you can never put pieces where you want them to go, and even placing the "wildcard fossils" is an exercise in frustration. And don't even get me started about the worthless tutorial. Sure it tells you how to swim (duh!), but how do I battle predators? How do I replenish those three annoying health meters in the corner of the screen? You're on your own, kid. Fine print in the manual explains there's an auto-save feature, but some kind of save indicator on the screen would have been nice. Simply put, Sea Monsters is an atrocity of prehistoric proportions. If a Plesiosaur ever saw this game, he'd be petrified. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Once again, Sega has managed to botch what should have been a phenomenal game. Consider the many beloved franchises featured in Superstars Tennis: Sonic the Hedgehog, House of the Dead, Jet Grind Radio, Space Channel 5, Super Monkey Ball, Golden Axe, Nights, Samba De Amigo, and more! That's a lot of star power, but Sega really dropped the ball when it comes to gameplay. It's a shame when you consider Sega produced what is arguably the best tennis game ever - Virtual Tennis (Dreamcast, 2000). The characters strut their stuff nicely, and the courts (inspired by each franchise) look bright and inviting. The fantastic soundtrack incorporates distinctive musical themes and sound effects that will bring back fond memories. The fine presentation is wasted however by gameplay that's best described as marginal. There are three control schemes: Wii-mote only (motion control/automatic movement), Wii-mote and nun-chuck (motion control/manual movement), and old-school NES-style (no motion). Of course, what I really wanted was the ability move with the thumbstick and use the A and B buttons to swing - like Virtua Tennis! The controls are rather loose, which is problematic with a sport that demands precision. Playing against a friend is a pretty ho-hum affair, and the mini-games are a bust. Trying to collect rings in a certain amount of time or knock balls into targets isn't nearly as fun as you might expect. Even smacking tennis balls into oncoming zombies gets boring by the 14th wave! The Superstar Planet mode lets you unlock new characters, courts, and music tracks. You'll play not so much for the fun, but to unlock obscure characters like the dwarf from Golden Axe or Pudding from Space Channel 5. Although you hold the Wii-mote sideways for mini-games, the inconsistent user interface assumes you're holding it vertically when navigating menus! Sega Superstars Tennis is a great example of a game whose whole is less than the sum of its parts. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Judged against recent Sonic outings on the Xbox 360 and PS3, Secret Rings seems downright inspired by comparison. This is easily the interesting and playable Sonic title we've seen since the Dreamcast console was on the store shelves. Boasting a unique control scheme, Sonic runs automatically as you tilt the controller to "steer" him. Sonic's "homing attack" is performed by shoving the controller forward, and it's very satisfying to "bash" the robotic creeps. Secret Rings is a huge game, and even sprinting to the end of a stage can take 10 minutes or more. Each world offers a list of missions that involve collecting rings, defeating foes, racing against a ball of light, or reaching the finish line before time expires. Sonic's route through each stage is largely predetermined, but moving side-to-side lets you snag rings, hit ramps, avoid hazards, and select occasional forks in the road. On the downside, memorization plays a key role, and there are large stretches where Sonic zooms around automatically and out of your control. It's really hard to "explore" with the new control scheme, so the missions that require you to locate items tend to be especially frustrating. In terms of graphics, this is the best-looking Sonic yet. The eye candy is off-the-charts as you race through exotic palaces, lush dinosaur worlds, and trap-laden castles. The "Pirate Storm" area looks phenomenal with its weathered shipwrecks, driving rain, and mammoth waves. The only stage I disliked was the Levitating Ruins, where you spend too much time "fighting the wind" and surfing on air streams. Sonic and the Secret Rings is tougher than most Sonic games, but the constant unlocking of new missions, worlds, items, and moves will keep you forging ahead. Sega was definitely on the right track with this one, but I think they made the game more complex than it needed to be. The idea of collecting pearls (in addition to rings) to power up your "soul gauge" is unnecessary, and before each stage you must equip a "magic ring" with a customizable list of special moves. Most of these moves are so trivial that they should just be "on" by default. For example, the "quick step" makes moving left and right smoother, and "hard brake" makes braking more effective. Pretty lame! The game's plodding storyline involves a talkative female genie, and the cut-scenes (rendered using still images) are as boring as they are pointless. They'd probably cost the game a letter grade if you couldn't skip them! The music is a mixed bag. Some of the repetitive pop-rock is hard to take, but the soundtrack does cover a wide range of styles. Sonic and the Secret Rings has its share of minor issues, but its innovative gameplay and attractive visuals make them easy to overlook. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Soul Calibur has been a popular one-on-one fighting series since the days of the Dreamcast, but Legends marks a major departure from that formula. Many have characterized Legend's gameplay as "moving from room to room, hacking up one gang of monsters after the next". That pretty much describes half the video games I've played over the last 20 years, so it can't be all that bad! Okay, I'll admit this game doesn't have the look of a big budget title. The lame intro and cut-scenes are rendered with semi-animated illustrations, and the gratuitous text dialogue between stages will have you tapping more buttons than a freakin' track and field game. The unremarkable stage designs feature repetitive angular hallways and square rooms that epitomize the term "cookie cutter". Within each room monsters spawn out of thin air, including knights, skeletons, wolves, mummies, and ninjas. Wii motion controls are used to attack, letting you execute horizontal swings, vertical swings, and thrusts. It's funny - a year ago everyone was totally psyched about using real motions to swing a sword, but now everybody just complains about it. Granted, these aren't the most precise controls in the world, but would you prefer button mashing? You'll occasionally stumble upon some entertaining special moves, like when Asteroth spins around and multiple enemies become wedged in his axe. Jerking the nun-chuck lets you dodge, and buttons initiate blocking, jumping, and power attacks. The A button cycles through targets, and it's pretty clumsy. Soul Calibur Legends is primarily a brawler, but you'll also solve easy puzzles and avoid run-of-the-mill traps like spikes and spears. You select two characters for each mission, and I like how you can switch between them on the fly. The Soul Calibur roster provides plenty of colorful characters including some scantily clad hotties. A two-player mode lets you fight alongside a friend, but that split-screen view really cramped my style. I enjoyed the game's short stages and brisk pacing when playing solo, but the difficulty is very easy - perhaps to a fault. Soul Calibur Legends isn't a great title, but it's enjoyable enough when taken in small doses. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

I was a big fan of the Speed Racer cartoon series as a kid, and while this game is based on the new movie, it's still fun to see the Mach-5 and Racer X. Most critics dismissed this arcade-style racer, but it's their loss! The grainy intro fails to convey Speed Racer's high-speed thrills, gravity-defying tracks, and outrageous "car-fu" fighting action. The futuristic tracks look like something from Wipeout (Playstation, 1995), and the game's penchant for destruction gives it a real Burnout (GameCube, 2002) flavor. Tilting the controller to steer your car is effortless and fun, and I really appreciate how guardrails keep you on the track. The concept of "car-fu" is totally insane and I love it. You can bump cars off the road, flip them from behind, and even perform spin attacks with a flick of the wrist. Things really get out of hand! Best of all, your aggressiveness is rewarded with frequent speed boosts. Another original feature is your ability to declare allies and rivals before each race, and with so much combat going on, it really does make a difference. Cars on the course are clearly marked as friend or foe, and faces appear in the corner of the screen as passing racers exchange trash talk. Speed Racer's tracks are lengthy, but typically you only race two laps, which is just enough. The game is pretty forgiving, and once I even won a race after blowing up three times! The tracks feature death-defying ramps, loops, and corkscrews, but they aren't as exciting as they sound. Likewise when your speedometer reaches 400 MPH, it doesn't feel like you're going that fast. The track surfaces are plastered with obnoxious color patterns, and the busy backgrounds look gaudy. Even the tropical resort track looks repulsive thanks to its puke-green track! The uptempo synthesized music is a pleasant surprise - a few of these tunes really caught my ear. There's really no excuse for the ugly graphics, but if you're looking for an easy racer that's way over the top, this is it. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Apparently the publisher couldn't afford the rights to "Summer Olympics", so we're stuck with the cheesy title "Summer Athletics". I'll be sure to avoid using the "O" word in this review so I don't get sued! Anyway, much like Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games (Sega, 2007), Summer Athletics tries to infuse the classic button-tapping track-and-field gameplay with motion controls. There's a lot of kinetic action, but the execution is clumsy and the fun is tempered by frustration. Just getting off the starting block is hard in many events. It seems like each has a different starting motion, so pay close attention to the instructions! The controls aren't overwhelming, but they are more complicated than they should be. The controls are inconsistent too. When biking, you change lanes by leaning the controllers, but when running track the Z and B buttons serve this function. The final motion in many events is "maintaining posture" by holding the controller out and twirling it around! Yeah - just like the athletes do in real life! In the butterfly swimming competition, you move your arms as if you're doing the actual stroke, causing the wires to tangle around your wrists. This makes you wonder what the hell wires are doing attached to wireless controllers in the first place! Nice going Nintendo! I also hate how only one player is ever competing at a time, despite the fact that many events (like running and swimming) are well suited to head-to-head action. The graphics are nothing to write home about. The chalk lines on the track look jaggy, and the athletes themselves resemble zombies - complete with rolled-back eyes! I did get a kick out of the dancing monkey "mascot" who tends to go bonkers whenever you break a world record! Go Monkey! It's your birthday! Go Monkey... Summer Athletics is also saddled with a poorly-designed user interface that makes you constantly press "A" to skip uneventful cut-scenes - such as your undead athlete standing around in a daze. Although each player gets a chance to view instructions, it's possible to skip your friend's instructions - a strategy I employed effectively against my buddy Scott. You also have to press A after you've done each heat, so expect to hear this a lot: "Dude! Press A!" When you break a world record, you're prompted to enter your initials, even though you already entered them at the beginning! Yes, I changed my name since I started playing this! There's not even any closing ceremonies! I hope you were paying attention to who was winning, because after that last event you're whisked directly back to the main menu! Summer Athletics drags on for way too long, and your friends will be climbing the walls before the debacle is finally over. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Summer Sports features bright tropical scenery, pleasant steel drum music, and familiar outdoor games. I was expecting a collection of fun-in-the-sun mini-games along the lines of Carnival Games (Wii, 2007). Unfortunately, the developers clearly had no clue about how to program the Wii's motion controls. These games look fine but play terribly. Although Summer Sports boasts eight different events, there seem to be far less because so many events are similar. The basketball events feature simple shooting games like "around the world" or "horse". While using a basketball shooting motion is intuitive enough, it soon becomes evident that every shot is either "nothing but net" or an air ball! Good luck trying to hit that rim! The horseshoe game is very shallow since you only control the strength of your throw - not the accuracy. Lawn darts is an odd entry, considering this ill-conceived game was banned from most countries decades ago. And when you play lawn darts on your Wii, you'll realize why nobody has missed it! Badminton and Volleyball try to copy the Wii Sports Tennis formula, but the timing of your swing is entirely too unforgiving. The miniature golf game is the one real surprise, featuring nine distinctive holes, each adorned with its own theme and lush scenery. There's an Egyptian hole, a medieval castle, and even a spooky graveyard. As my friend Scott suggested, some game company should really run with the concept and make a whole game like this. Sadly, the controls falter once again, and this time in spectacular fashion. The putting is anything but intuitive thanks to that spastic power meter that sends even the shortest puts flying out of bounds! Performing a tap-in is virtually impossible. Croquet has the same issues, but since I'm American, I wasn't planning on playing that one anyway. Summer Sports had the right idea, but without decent controls, this game has absolutely nothing going for it. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Super Mario games have always served up colorful, imaginative worlds, but in outer space there are no limits! Galaxy's opening sequence depicts Princess Peach being abducted by Bowser's spaceship and whisked away to a far-off corner of the universe. To rescue her, Mario will have to hopscotch across dozens of galaxies composed of small planets and collections of floating platforms. Star-shaped portals are used to launch Mario from one location to the next with a flick of a wrist. Mario Galaxy toys with the laws of gravity and physics in a number of unexpected ways. More often than not you can walk on the sides and underneath platforms, and this new dimension allows for puzzles like you've never seen. Sometimes you can even pull Mario through open space by exerting gravity from stars around him. The camerawork can be somewhat disorienting at first, but in general the game does a remarkable job of framing the action. The stages are short but fascinating, and the themes are constantly changing so they never wear out their welcome. The scenery ranges from retro-futuristic floating space junk, to tropical islands, to worlds composed of sugary confections. You'll ride a stingray over a stream of floating water, participate in Monkey Ball-style "golf", and blow Mario in a bubble across a swamp. It seems like you're never doing the same thing twice! The graphics won't "wow" you, but the cloth-like textures, realistic water effects, and reflective steel structures indicate an attention to detail. Galaxy also seamlessly incorporates elements from classic Mario games (like the green pipes), along with dozens of familiar audio effects. Like the stages, the diverse soundtrack ranges from epic, to whimsical, to tranquil. Nintendo exercised restraint when incorporating motion controls, only using them when they compliment the action. One truly innovative feature is your ability to gather up "star bits" on the screen by pointing at them with the Wimote. Better yet, you can then fire these bits at enemies by aiming at the screen and pressing the B trigger! Super Mario Galaxy manages to feel both radically different and comfortably familiar at the same time. Its gameplay is extremely forgiving, and after each short stage you're prompted to save your progress. Reviewing this game was an absolute joy, and I looked forward to playing it a little bit more every day. Irresistibly fun, Super Mario Galaxy is to video games what candy is to food. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

Super Paper Mario takes the classic platform jumping style of Super Mario Bros and incorporates puzzle and RPG (role playing game) elements to create a deeper but slower-paced gaming experience. The game takes a hell of a long time to get started, with an extended intro that takes forever to get through. I couldn't care less about this nonsense about prophecies and ancient books and dark clouds and blah blah blah... Get on with it already! I can sum up the entire premise in three seconds: "Find eight hearts to save universe". There - now was that so hard?? When you finally reach stage 1-1 (about an hour in), the game looks and plays deceptively like Super Mario Bros. as you pounce on turtles, knock out blocks, and crawl through pipes. You even hold the controller sideways in the classic NES style. But you soon discover Paper Mario's killer gimmick, which is the ability to temporarily switch to a 3D "side view" perspective at the touch of a button. Not only does this allow you to circumvent seemingly insurmountable obstacles, but the new viewpoint also reveals hidden items and new pathways. It's actually quite an ingenious mechanism, and you'll definitely want to employ it whenever you get stuck (or even just for fun). Another interesting feature is your ability to "point" at the screen to uncover hidden items and doors. You begin with Mario, but later add other Nintendo characters to your "party", although you only control one at a time. Likewise, floating companions called "Pixls" arm you with special abilities, such as grabbing enemies, planting bombs, or becoming invisible. You can toggle your characters and Pixls from a menu screen. I found the stages to be a mildly entertaining combination of puzzle solving and platform jumping - sort of a thinking man's Mario Bros. Unfortunately, the stages are sandwiched between boring intermissions where you must run tedious errands and page through verbose dialogue. These sections of the game almost put me to sleep. Paper Mario's simple but crisp graphics are illustrative in style, and the soundtrack is a nice collection of happy melodies. Nintendo fans will enjoy the game's classic game references and inside jokes, but Super Paper Mario's plodding pace will try the attention spans of casual gamers. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

If you thought the previous Smash Bros. games were unadulterated bliss, you might just keel over from pure unbridled joy when you play Super Smash Bros. Brawl. The basic formula is unchanged as up to four classic Nintendo characters pound each other into oblivion on raised platforms. But Brawl sweetens the deal with more characters, dizzying stages, and a metric ton of stuff to unlock. The action is fast and furious, and nothing warms my heart more than watching Kirby get his pink ass beaten like a redheaded stepchild. People tend to love or hate the Smash Bros. series, but it's hard to deny Brawl's astounding replay value. The expanded cast of characters includes many faces that casual gamers may find unfamiliar, including Pit (Kid Icarus), King Dedede (Kirby), Meta Knight (Kirby), Ike (Fire Emblem), Lucas (Earthbound), Olimar (Pikmin), and Pokemon Trainer. Pokemon Trainer is a young man that lurks in the background of each stage and let you control various Pokemon characters like Squirtle, Charizard, and Ivysaur. The pudgy Meta Knight is a great new addition, and "Zero Suit" Samus is hot! The most exciting new characters however are Sonic the Hedgehog and Snake (of Metal Gear fame). So why in the hell are they locked?! After selecting a character, you'll hear him shout through your controller's microphone - a nice touch! The impressive stage selection (which includes those from Melee) offer some pretty fascinating locations. The Pictochat stages are drawn before your eyes, and when the massive Metal Gear breaks through a wall on rainy Shadow Moses Island, it's positively jaw-dropping. I also love the Ice Climber stage with the huge iceberg careening down a slope until it finally crashes into the sea. The four-player fighting action is chaotic as ever, made even more confusing by the insane stage designs, over-the-top attacks, and "summoned" creatures that sometimes join the fray. For the first time you can jump down through platforms, which is nice, but sometimes the jumping controls are funky. Double jumps and ledge grabs can come in pretty handy most of the time, but sometimes don't kick in when you really need them. New weapons include a huge light saber and "superspice curry" that lets you breathe fire. The new "smash ball" allows each character to perform a devastating "final smash" attack. Kirby's will suck everyone into a pot to be cooked, Samus unloads a massive laser beam, Peach puts everyone to sleep, and Fox can call upon tanks and spaceships. Surprises abound in this game. In the Metroid stage, the entire playing field will abruptly turn upside down. A puppy from Nintendogs might block part of the screen temporarily, or the "face boss" from the original Star Fox might appear in the background, spitting out polygons. While the default Wimote/nunchuck control configuration is okay, but many will gravitate towards the GameCube controller, especially since there are no motion controls. In terms of graphics, the quality isn't any better than Super Smash Bros. Melee (GameCube, 2001). The characters look slightly harsher around the edges, but the lush, layered backdrops are more dynamic and boast more detail. Although the four-player action hasn't changed much, the side-scrolling "Subspace Emissary" adventure mode provides a very long, engaging quest for the solo player. I like how it gradually introduces each character, but sometimes it feels like a carrot on a stick. As I played through it, it was hard to tell if I was playing for the fun of it, or just to unlock new stuff. No matter what mode you play, the game constantly updates you about new items you've unlocked, which is satisfying. Super Smash Bros. Brawl has minimal load times, an intuitive user interface, on-line modes, and unlimited replay value. It won't convert the haters, but Nintendo die-hards can bump up the grade by a letter, because for them at least, it doesn't get much better than this. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

Considering the sorry history of both surfing games and movie-licensed games, you'd think that this surfing game based on an animated movie wouldn't have a chance. But Surf's Up manages to beat the odds. If Tony Hawk were a surfing penguin, I bet his games would be exactly like this. Surf's Up combines kid-friendly visuals, a killer soundtrack, and arcade-style gameplay to create a whimsical yet addictively fun game. Like Tony Hawk, you're mainly playing for score. You view the action from behind your penguin as a huge wave encroaches from the left side of the screen. By slaloming the wave you gain speed, and shaking the controller also provides a speed boost. Once you go flying off the wave, you can perform basic tricks (A button), holds (B button), flips (directional pad), and various combinations. In addition to riding waves, small islands and archways approach from the right, providing power-ups and opportunities to grind rails and jump ramps. I like how the waves and obstacles play off of each other, so you can launch off a wave to avoid an iceberg or vault onto a high rail. Everything comes together very nicely, and you often have several options at any given time. The graphics aren't spectacular, but the icebergs and tropical islands provide for attractive scenery. Since some stages take place in Antarctica, this is one surfing title you can even enjoy during the winter! The single-player mode offers a nice tutorial, and lets you gradually unlock new locations, boards, music, and humorous characters (which include a skinny, featherless chicken). The vertical split-screen mode is superb, serving up some really intense head-to-head action while providing a decent view for both players. There's even a "leaf sliding" mini-game that could almost stand on its own. So is there anything wrong with this game? Well, that little squid you use to navigate the menus isn't the most responsive thing in the world, and, well, it's a game about surfing penguins! Surf's Up didn't get much press and is easy to overlook, but those who give it a shot will be pleasantly surprised. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.